


your eyes look like coming home

by Alice_Prongs



Series: Jilytober 2018 [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Mutual Pining, day 13 - mutual pining, jilytober, oblivious idiots, so. much. fluff.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-03 09:35:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16323740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_Prongs/pseuds/Alice_Prongs
Summary: James and Lily are both too involved in fancying each other to realize that their feelings are mutual. Because of that, they both behave like idiots in front of each other, but it doesn't make either of them stop being infatuated with the other one.





	your eyes look like coming home

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, so, i'm very late for this, but here's my fifth work for jilytober! i'm hoping to get something else before the end of october, but i won't make you any promises because it's been kind of a crazy month. this is an answer to the mutual pining prompt over on marauders70s tumblr (yes, it's day 13, i know)
> 
> i hope you guys like it!

Lily really hates her bad timing. It’s gotten her into enough uncomfortable situations in the past, like when she had told Marlene that she had kissed Amos Diggory just hours after she had broken up with her girlfriend, or when she had gotten a new pet as a kid days before her sister's hamster was run over by a car, or when she had given Alice a necklace with a potion pendant right when she had failed their Potions class. And now, here she is, with a crush on James Potter only after he’s long gotten over her. Here she is, pathetically fancying a guy that will never look at her that way again because she had been quite insistent on the fact that she didn’t like him for years and years and _years_.

Here she is, staring at him from her table on their Heads office when she was supposed to be assigning the patrol schedules for the prefects. She knows that she should look away, but he's just too insufferable. With his messy hair, tan skin, hazel eyes, she can't look away from him and it pisses her off that this is the new Lily Evans, going crazy over a boy. Sometimes, it's all too much, especially when he's like this, focused on his work, the tip of his tongue peeking out from between his lips – that are a body part of his that she tries to avoid thinking about for the risk they represent to her sound mind. His glasses are sliding down his nose and she feels the weird impulse to push them back up.

She closes her hands in tight fists to contain her urge.

She glances back at him, one last time, telling herself that she'll go back to focusing on her work afterwards, but he looks up at the same moment she does. Lily feels her cheeks heat up immediately, and curses herself for being so pale and redheaded. James tilts his head to the side, an amused smile coming onto his lips. It causes her heart to beat unsteadily in her chest, which is ridiculous.

"Is something wrong?" he asks, and she has no idea of what to say.

She shakes her head, letting out a forced laugh. "Yeah, no, I was just wondering if..." she clears her throat, and blurts out the first thing that comes up in her mind. "If you think I should pair up McKenna with Travis or Andersen?"

James frowns and looks at her weirdly. It’s a stupid question. McKenna and Travis had probably never even talked, while Andersen was her house mate and sort of friend. She feels herself blush harder. "Andersen, I guess."

Lily nods, pressing her lips together. He looks away, and she feels even more of an idiot. She had made him uncomfortable, on top of it all. It was still better, though, than telling him what had _actually_ been going on in her head.

It doesn't mean she's any less embarrassed by it. She looks back down to the schedules in front of her, wanting to bash her head on the table repeatedly for being so stupidly infatuated with him. She really should start figuring out how to get over him, or this would only be the start of these embarrassing moments.

“Cheers, mate,” she says after a moment – and cringes immediately. She doesn't look at him again, knowing that her cheeks are red.

She was a bloody idiot.

***

James is pretty sure he’s an idiot. Or a masochist. Or both. That's the only explanation he can find for the fact that he’s been in love with the same girl for years, while knowing that she’d never feel the same way for him. And after all that, he’s stuck being her _friend_. Which sucks, because now he's _allowed_ to be close to Lily Evans and they _talk_ and he's got a first seat to experience just how truly amazing she is.

And he's even more in love with her now than he used to be, if that's even possible.

But she called him _mate_. It hurts, in a way, since he knows he'll never get to be more than that, but it's also ridiculous because it's so much more than he had been before, he should be grateful for it. He can't be, though, because he likes her too much, and she's so beautiful and smart and funny and _brilliant_. It's painful that he gets to be this close to her when he can't do anything. That he talks to her and makes her laugh and listens to her – which is amazing, by the way, and he can't complain about it – when he actually wants to touch her and kiss her and let her know that he bloody loves her. That he won't ever stop being in love with her.

He feels his heart break as she acts like nothing’s happened and looks back down at her work. She's completely unaware of what she does to him and it kills him that Lily Evans won’t ever realize how amazing and perfect she is.

He’s in way over his head in all of this, but he doesn’t know if he ever wants to get out.

They finish their work in silence, afterwards. He feels like everything's suddenly awkward between them, but it’s possible that he’s being a little paranoid. They gather their things and get up. He glances at her and she’s looking down at the floor and he curses himself. Had he done something to make her uncomfortable? He probably had. They leave their office – he holds the door open for her and she thanks him with a tiny smile that makes his heart skip a beat – and walk back in silence to their Common Room.

“Fiddlesticks,” she tells the Fat Lady, and the portrait swings open.

Lily's barely looked at him the whole way and it’s starting to worry him.

She clears her throat as they reach the middle space between the stairs to their dorm rooms and glances up at him.

“It was a good session, right?” she asks, and then rushes to add, “Work-wise, I mean.”

He can’t help the fond smile that takes over his lips at seeing her get flustered, but he probably looks stupid. “Yeah, it was.”

She sends him a tiny close-lipped smile and he can’t help but add:

“Even if you didn’t know McKenna would be better off paired-up with Andersen, considering they’re housemates and pretty good friends, and she’s probably never said more than hi to Travis.”

Lily gapes for a few seconds and he grins. She shakes her head, and puts her hands on her hips, raising an eyebrow. “Well, I thought maybe being friends with him would mean they could get side-tracked during patrols, while that wouldn’t happen with Travis.”

He tilts his head, humming. He doesn’t bother trying to hide his amusement, though, and he can see it frustrates her.

It feels good to act normal around her again.

“Maybe. Or maybe McKenna patrolling with Travis would end up being pure uncomfortable silence between the two and they’d cut it short because of how much they hated it,” he tells her and she huffs, starting to walk towards the stairs to her room.

“You’re an idiot,” she says, looking over her shoulder at him, a crooked grin on her lips.

“You love it,” he teases, without thinking, and wants to kill himself as soon as the words leave his mouth.

But _then_.

“I do,” she answers immediately, but in a low voice.

And. _Oh_.

It takes his breath away. He’s not even sure if he’s listened to her correctly. James looks at her in disbelief and she looks back at him with wide eyes and quickly reddening cheeks. She averts her gaze, but not before he smiles at her. He can feel the heat in his own cheeks and he has no idea of what he’s supposed to do.

“Goodnight, James,” she mumbles, and he raises his hand, stupidly, in goodbye. She starts up the stairs to her dorm without even glancing at him and, after a few moments, he does the same.

And then he stops.

“Hey, Evans?” he says, gathering all of his Gryffindor courage and then some – his voice still cracks, though. She looks back at him, her cheeks still red, eyes still a little wide.

“Yeah?”

“Would you like to go on a date with me? Sometime?” he croaks out, and it sounds ridiculous and feels like suicide, but he’s done it. It’s out there.

It’s almost like she’s frozen in place. He starts regretting ever saying anything, but then she looks at him full on and her eyes are sparkling and her hair is glowing and a slow smile takes over her lips. “I’d love to,” she says, at last.

His heart somersaults inside his chest and he smiles so hard he fears his cheeks are going to split apart.

Merlin, he’s really in love with her.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you guys liked it! comments and kudos are appreciated! come cry with me over jily on [tumblr](https://notdeadjily.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
